Mind your manners - Good Manners and Etiquette

"Manners are sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use."

- Quote by Emily Post

Good manners are the first mark of good breeding and reflect directly on a person's upbringing and make a lasting and favorable impression on people. In other word, Manners are the un-enforced standards of conduct which show that a person is polite, cultured and refined. They set a standard for human behavior, but they are unlike laws in that there is no formal system for punishing transgressions, other than social disapproval. They are a kind of norm. A lot is been said about the need to have good manners. Without his manners man is nothing better than an animal or barbarian. Someone has rightly said, "Manners make a man".

Good Manners occupy a unique place in our lives and are the sure keys to success. They are to be acquired and cultivated. They are not only social behavior but also an ideal form of personal conduct and character. They are valuable possessions and help in making friends, winning over people and in gaining appreciation and admiration. In business and service good manners are indispensable. They help us avoid bitter and untoward situations.

Some good manners

1) Speak with respect for others, especially elders. Avoid negative remarks and questions which may embarrass others. To be late for appointments and keep people waiting is indiscipline and disrespect.

2) Use ‘thank you' and ‘you are welcome' whenever appropriate. We should never fail to say ‘sorry' if we disturb people. Even in our personal and private lives they are important assets. It is good manners to thank people for a service, guidance or a gift received.

3) Do not interrupt a person who is speaking, regardless of even if it is a casual conversation. Try to let them finish what they are saying. Even if you are talking over the phone, be sure to pause every once in a while inorder to give the other person time to speak.

4) Never openly criticize someone in an attempt to put them down or to make yourself look better. Avoid gossiping. Avoid harsh words, be polite.

5) Do not swear or use bad words. Profanity is a sign of an unchallenged mind.

6) Hold open the door for anyone following you closely.

7) Greet others appropriately even if you know someone well. If you are a man, you do not want to greet a woman by saying, "Hey Baby, what's shaking?" Instead, try something like, "Hello, good morning or evening," anything that would make you appear to have manners and good sense.

8)Think things out before you speak, especially if you are a person who may be poor at finding the right words to say.

9) Speak highly of your parents and teachers, even if there are things about them that you do not like. If you cannot do that, stay away from speaking about them at all around

10) Pay attention to how you carry yourself. In other words, act like you have some class, which goes hand in hand with manners. Don't slouch, have a neat appearance, shake hands, be clean, hold your head high and don't hide behind dark sunglasses inside or wear other "trying to be cool" looks at the wrong time.

11)If you did not hear something that an individual has said, or if you need something clarified, consider using "Could you say that again for me, please?" or "I'm sorry?" Avoid solely using the word "What?" as it tends to come off as brash and unrefined.

12)Avoid annoying others with your cell phone by talking too loud. Be sure to turn it off or keep it on silent mode while attending important meetings or when you in a movie theater.

13) Do not talk with your mouth full. Do not stop mid-sentence to eat, chew, swallow and then continue. Eat or talk, do not do both at the same time.

14) Instead of 'yeah' use 'yes' or 'yes, please', instead of "huh" use 'pardon', instead of 'nah' say 'no, thank you', always use "May i.." instead of "Can I...".

15) Spitting on the road is considered bad manners.

I am sure there are plenty left out. Feel free to add them up through your comments. Finally, when it comes to Manners one name which cannot be avoilded is that of Emily Post. She has severaI wonderful guides for parents and children on Manners to her credit.

Emily Post, best known as the inventor of American good manners and absolute authority of etiquette, was born on 27 October 1872 at Baltimore, Maryland as the only child of Bruce Price, an architect, and Josephine Lee Price. She made a name for herself as a very successful American author, newspaper columnist and radio broadcaster. Emily Price was educated at home and attended Mrs. Grahams Finishing school in New York where her family had moved. Born into a wealthy, socialite Eastern family Emily had a privileged childhood and have traveled places with her father.

Emily Price became Emily Post by marrying Edwin Main Post, a banker, in 1892, and they had two sons Edwin M. Jr and Bruce Price. But the marriage came to an end when Emily found that her husband was cheating on her. They got divorced in the year 1905. That was a turning point in her life and in order to support herself and her children she began writing short stories that were published in the popular fiction magazines Ainslie's and Everybody's. Early in her career she wrote society columns and travelogues of pre-World War I Europe. She also wrote several novels. Her first novel was published in the year 1904. The novel ‘The Flight of a Moth’ is about a young American widow attracted to an unscrupulous Russian nobleman. She wrote her first book on etiquette Etiquette - the Blue Book of Social Usage in 1922 which became a best seller after which several books followed. The success of her books led her into her new career as radio broadcaster and newspaper columnist. She founded the Emily Post Institute for the Study of Gracious Living in1946.The Emily Post Cook Book was published in the year 1951.She remained active throughout her life and wrote several more books till her death on September 25, 1960 at the age of eighty-six. Her children and grandchildren have authored several books too.

Now after almost 50 years after her death we finally get to meet this wonderful woman whose name is still used in titles of etiquette books. Her Biography titled Emily Post: Daughter of the Gilded Age, Mistress of American Manners written by Laura Claridge is available with Amazon.

Source : Emily Post: Daughter of the Gilded Age, Mistress of American Manners

Wikipedia