Why do Women cheat in Relationships
79Infidelity and Extra marital Affairs by Women
Men are not the only ones who cheat on their partners. These days more and more women are found to be guilty of cheating. Infidelity in relationships is increasing day by day. Every day we read on newspapers about several crimes which have resulted from such relationships. Recently I happened to see a magazine called ‘Crime and Detective’ which had a detailed account of such cases where the woman had affair with father in law, son, neighbor, husbands friend and so on. With increasing live in relationships and extra martial affairs Marriages in our society today do not seem to mean nearly as much as they used to in the past. What may be the reasons why a woman resorts to such an act? After some analysis on the subject I came up with some reasons as to why a woman may cheat on her partner or husband.
Women are emotional creatures. If the main reasons for men who cheat are physical the reasons for women who indulge in such act are mostly emotional. Some of the reasons are loneliness, revenge, boredom and self esteem.
- Unsatisfactory Relationship: There are women who get involved in extramarital relationships purely for sex. Majority of Women who cheat on their partners are those who are involved in unsatisfactory or sexless relationships. When she sees that her partner is unable to satisfy her on bed or fulfill her whims and fancies she looks for someone who could do so. If a woman is not receiving the attention she feels she deserves in a relationship, she may be tempted to seek that attention elsewhere and become involved in an affair.
- Loneliness: Many Women get into relationship because she feels lonely. This is most likely to happen when the lady is a housewife and husband is working abroad or the husband is a workaholic or who is on tour for at least 15 days in a month. Instead of looking for a productive hobby to fill her time she compensates for neglect or lack of attention from her man with the attention of another man.
- Revenge: Many Women cheat because they want to take revenge on their husbands when their partner has cheated on them. This tit for tat action makes them run into the arms of another man. Many women see a cheating partner as a justification to have an affair of their own.
- Excitement: Several Women turn to other men when their existing relationship has lost all the excitement which used to be there in the earlier stages.Boredom may also factor into why women cheat. Monotony and boredom in the present relationship makes some woman to find a solution in a brand new partner.
- Lack of self esteem : When the Woman feel that she is not getting the deserved amount of attention and admiration from her current partner she feels insecure and ends up cheating to reaffirm to herself that she is still attractive and desirable.
- Love and Romance: When women feel unloved, ignored or taken for granted by their partners she may stray. Women look for emotional security and like to be wined and dined, courted and romanced. So when she is complimented by another man she feels attracted to that person too and tries to rekindle the lost romance in her life through an affair. If another man starts to show care and concern to them, this will make them to engage in an affair outside.
- Money and Power: Women tend to go on affairs with men who hold powerful positions in the society and are loaded with money and are willing to provide the material goods like that she feels are missing in her life.
- Genuine Attraction or Falling in Love: The Modern Woman who manages both home and work efficiently comes across many males. It is not quite unlikely that they may find someone attractive or may be even fall in love with. Whoever said a married woman cannot fall in love?
- Lack of Understanding and Communication
To sum up, whatever the reasons for cheating are I don’t think any religion supports such an act. Moreover, it is not worth losing your family or health because of such an act.
Random thoughts : A Man who sleeps with many Women is called a stud but a woman who sleeps with even one man outside the marriage is labeled as a Whore!
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Thanks for expressing your opinion here Princessa!
I agree with Princessa, very valid points you make here. Personally I think that many women who have affairs ,do so for the attention that they do not get at home.
Thanks for the appreciation Hawkesdream.
Cheating is not good whoever does it. Cheating meaning lack of understanding between the two persons concerned.
I agree with you Narayan. Thanks for the Visit.
"Cheaters Anonymous" was the term coined by my A. A. guru when we discussed or gossipped about our fellows' personal relationship viz-a-viz their partners. Not that we two were different from others and when we honestly sat to investigate root causes of infidelities and extra-marital relationships, we understood
1. that we had become emotionally sick losing controls over all our natural instincts such as sex, security and society.
2. that our over-indulgence in sex was a mental malady that was so obscessive that we had no fear of getting caught or any other repurcations like murder or divorses. We behaved as if were born to produce children. God wanted us to know, know and know. Please see the original meaning of the verb to know in a standard dictionary.
3. that probably we could recover from such a dangerous disease if took some counsilling from a well meaning person such as any doctor, or psychiatrist, or a religious mentor.
I, myself, am leading a clean life for the last twenty four years, though my wife may never trust me and say " who knows you may start it all again."
Thanks for sharing khadikarprakash.
These are all valid reasons though doesn't make it right. The youtube video was so sad because it was accurate on how women view sex differently from men.
Thanks for expressing your opinion here ratcliffe07.
hey anamika these are valid points, though I still believe partners should communicate as often as possible to reduce the misunderstandings. Cheers for a good and informative hub.
Yes, Communication can solve a lot of problems.Thanks for the appreciation jayb23.
Your right and thank for making this blog its cool!!!!
Thanks for the appreciation natasha!
Great hub - your right on so many points, the big one, the lack of communcation. Partners stop talking to each other about the important stuff, how they feel
Thanks for the Visit and appreciation!
Good points. I think trust and communication are very important in any relationship. Without that, it will probably end up nowhere.
Thanks for the appreciation MSmithHub!
OMG.. Anamika S.. Is this why I am always waking up alone? Thank you for helping me understand that it's OK to be a loyal male. Wow.. I Promise to remember all the pointers and make sure that I don't get caught out anymore by any of them! Mind you; I have just realised that I was the common denominator!! I like your hub & will follow your wisdom.. thank you Anamika S. But are you really sure you can fend off all of us mere males???
Very interesting list.
I am curious, do you think that men cheat for the same reasons as well, or for totally different reasons? Seems there is some overlap at the very least. Maybe men and women are not so different after all ;)
Aye_Hajime, I have written a hub on that too.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Relationships-Cheating-Men
The reasons for men straying are more physical while with women it is emotional. Thanks for the Visit.
Nobody (man/woman) has the right to cheat on the other. We should condemn and stop the act NOW.
Yes, I agree with you Philipo.Thanks for the visit.
This is sad but, oh, so true. I think you really nailed it with the reasons you cited for women cheating. There may be many justifications for it, but that doesn't make it right. I truly agree with what you said about low self-esteem. Unfortunately, many women attempt to validate themselves with sex and attention. When they don't get that validation, they go out and try to find more sex and attention. It's a never-ending saga, until they realize that validation has to come from within. Excellent hub!!!
Yes it is true.Thanks for your comment Lynn.
Very Important and valid points, issues can be resolve if the partners are open to each other
wow i must view sex like a guy i particularly am not that crazy i really hope most women dont think like that if so thatz sad sorry 2 say it but it is men use and abuse do women not get that by now?
thanks for the comment on sexual obsession. many who get on the fast track think it's important to have sex or lose status. Of course it isn't true. It's much better to feel that sex is an option and not something that has to be performed. I stopped worrying about performance when I realized that's not my job! I am not a performer, but someone who values himself highly enough to say no kindly but firmly. Sex is way over-rated and people get bored with each other because they think they have to do it so many times a week. Love, now that is not over-rated but it is misunderstood. people equate love and sex, especially men. Learn to love and all your desires will be fulfilled.
Thank God for prenaptual agreements, besides if there is not trust these days who needs to be in a doomed relationship?
Yes Anamika i Fully agree with your contain,other things like , due to a very hectic life ahead of us we are not able to give time to family like before, secondly man also get bored of routine relation and sex with wife and so look at other places, the women do the same, i think we are loosing the commited relationship between us, and lastly the fancieness for sex in mind droves u the other way, thanx n bye.
Women who cheat in relationships because they are NOT in a relationship with ME. It's that simple really.
nice post I like and believe what u said, but there are also women that have a good man at home that are still good in bed and the women has a high sexy drive or is at her peak age where she is just sexual all the time that being gready when u need more the ur man at home thats what they call a nypho.
Actually especially in India where woman's sexual rights are not respected, sexual satisfaction may be a big motivation to cheat. Indian men really need to respect that women have just as much right to a satisfying sex life as them.
Bad choice of partners often lead to cheating be it men or women, a perfect match of partners are those who are creative & explore each other & not those who are too busy in thinking I fancy her or him ( fancy her or him is not enough)in the bedroom department.
excellent, at last I've found an unbiased article on HPs about infidelity, all the reasons you cite are also valid for male infidelity.
best
Mick
yes but i think that list can crossover to the male side to those are the same reason some males cheat, great piece
I think it really depends on hoe treated your partner. If show that you love her and you satisfy her, I think she will not cheat on you. Right?
you are smart woman.
My wife to be cheated on me with a guy I know,they had sex on several times and when I asked her she said that she was been force by the same guy and never I enjoyed having sex with him.what is your advice?
I read the book by Phillip A. Spight, Sr. Why do women cheat? What can I do to stop it. I found it to be very interesting.
women that cheat are filthy low life pigs. my first wife cheated on me after being with her for almost fifteen years. i was a very caring, loving, and understanding husband at the time that i was married to her. these type of women that are out there are just no good at all, especially when they break our hearts.
women that cheat have no class at all. in fact they are pigs. my aunt and uncle have been just married for sixty three years and their still together, going on their sixty fourth year. god bless them, i always tell my aunt and uncle that they are very lucky to be together. sure they had problems along the way, but they always worked it out. meeting women years ago was a lot easier than it is now for men like me that really want to meet the right one and have a great relationship. i was married twice and both of them cheated on me. this hurt me very much, and now i am alone. i was a very good husband at the time, and never cheated on them. i was very happy and content with my marriages. i thought the first time that i was married it would last. now i go out a lot and i hate it because trying to meet women is very hard because their attitude sucks. since there are a lot more lesbians today it does add to the problem of meeting women as well. i can easily be a one woman man if i met the right one.
Nobody wants to cheat but sometimes the circumstances entice people to resort to what they might not want to do. For example, most women want to feel loved and cared for, often their spouses find excuses to not spend time for them and this leads to an emotional void. So women who cheat are not pigs they are just insecure and are looking for some attention and love. So whoever said that loving is bad even if it comes from your lover.It beats being a miserable human being and turning to alcohol and anti depressants.Monogamy is not for everybody and divorce is not always an ideal solution.
Ref: Maggie comment
You must be a cheater yourself to offer such sympathy in trying to justify infidelity without acknowledging the pain the "cheated on" spouse endures, which has been reported as to be angst worse than a bereavement. I can tell you from experience, my partner turned to drugs which led to psychosis, depression and hospitalisation due to the guilt of cheating on me two years ago. Partner is still in recovery but will be on medication for rest of life, so don't kid yourself that cheating is in anyway a solution to problems in marriage, contrary to your belief, cheating can be cause of cheaters depression, not to mention selfish corrupt and immoral.
for your information maggie, i never cheated on them. that is how much you know. i was a very caring and loving husband at the time, but is was not good enough for them. i will say it again, women who cheat are dirty no good pigs and always will be. like the old saying goes, you cannot turn a hoe into a housewife. oh by the way, there are a lot of lesbians where i am from. this is making it much more harder for us good straight men out there now that are trying to meet good straight women now. i am a good man that was hurt a lot, and people like you just make it worse. being alone and single now sucks for me, but i will go out every single night just to be around other people that i know that have the same problem. this is the reason why i have a very bad attitude about women. i go out hoping to be at the right place at the right time to meet a good woman for me again, that can make me very happy. i am tired of being hurt, especially that i am very sincere. i feel as if god is punishing me for a reason i do not know. when i see other men that were very lucky to have met the right women in their life and have children, it makes me feel very hurt. i always wanted to have children, when i was a lot younger. for me now, meeting the right woman will be like hitting the lottery for me.
Let me just start off by saying that i use to say that i would never ever cheat because i was not that type of person. Even had a fight last year with a friend because she was knowingly seeing someone who was in a relationship, and has now since put a huge strain in our friendship. I am happily engaged to be married august of 2012 and i love my fiance, and theres no doubt that he loves me and we want to spend the rest of our lives together, hes the best thing that has ever happened to me and i dont want to hurt him or lose him, i cry at night because i know i am and he asks whats wrong but i cant tell him, but i dont want to stop having sex with my married lover either.....but to no fault of his at all that i have cheated. My lover is a married man and a child hood friend(boyfriend) our families and sibilings are friends and we have so much history. we recently had ran into eachother and exchanged numbers, he then called me and asked to have lunch...no biggie its just food but the conversations we had were really deep and we never once brought up sex. then recently i started to think of him in a sexual way(we had sex before when we were teenagers 10yrs ago) constantly for a while fantasizing, the whole nine yards. I wanted him, and something told me that he felt the same, so i asked him straight out if he would sleep with me, and he said yes, and so we made rules and guidelines to follow and they included being discreet and honest with eachother(yeah i know)and agreeing that it was just physical. so we went through with it, it was beyond great. Why if we both seem and claim to be happy in our relationships are we having an affair something i thought i never would do? I dont want to break up his family his wife is a beautiful person only having met her once and they have a 9 month old baby, i dont want to take him away from them. But i just feel im not ready for this to end, hes not just some random dude hes been my friend for over a decade, I knew this was a bad idea but every single second we are together feels so good. help,Im so confused how can i gain strength and end this before i start to feel feelings i cant afford to feel.
just stay with your fiance, if you love him very much. unless you really love the other guy more. it seems to me you are very confused. good luck, whatever you decide.
cheating makes the man and the woman looks bad.the person you are cheating with don't care nothing for you, you wasn't nothing to them but a sex machine thats all, and they go on to the next one. that is where we mess up at. it is a shame people are cheating in marriges, i look it it like this you should have never got married. if you think the grass is greener on the other side then you are wrong the people you cheat with want respect you god help us.
I take responsibility for my actions. I'm planning to end this because I have literal nightmares about my fiance finding out. I don't see it as my lover using me, I think it may be vice versa. But I do care for him and his family.
as for me i have been in a 5 years relationship nd my ex boyfrind was cheating, with different women, and throughout the years i was faithful, i never ch\ewated on him cos i believe qwhen u cheat or lie it will catch up with u one way or the other, i deeply loved the guy but for the entire relationship he cheated then we broke up, it was hard to get over him cos i totally loved him, now i am single and sometimes it can be frustrating and lonely cos we all need to be loved, i know one day will meet the right man who will treat mi he way i deserve to be..
many women out there just cannot stay with one man, and seem to need a variety of different men to please them today. very sad, but this is happening a lot lately. years ago, women were certainly different than the ones that are out there now. there parents raised them well, and now as the years went by they certainly have changed. once women's lib took over, their personality has changed and they are a lot more nasty than ever. so meeting women for me as a straight man has become very difficult now. i certainly cannot blame myself for the garbage that they have become now. today the women have very good high paying jobs, and are making a lot more money than a lot of men. our grandparents and our own parents were very lucky to have met back then, because the times were much more different and both women and men were very committed to one another. this is the reason why so many of us good men are now single today, and the women out there are not really looking to meet men like they once use to.
Once a cheater,always a cheater
@Confuse u cant have ur cake & eat it too...hope u broke it off, confess it to God and moved on with ur fiance renewed in mind and spirit. Its so sad that ur fiance thinks he has a faithful gf when u out sleeping with a married man (jus saying)
women who cheat, are trash for doing this. seems to me, they just cannot stay with one man anymore. god forbid, if they did.
Princessa Level 3 Commenter 2 years ago
I believe that all those reason that you mention are valid whether they are right or wrong.
Also, there are studies that suggest that infidelity behaviour persist in women because they have been evolutionary advantageous for them.
A study published in the journal Twin Research, suggests that a genetic predisposition towards female infidelity may have evolved because it was important in allowing women married to "low status" men surreptitiously to become pregnant by "high status" men.